Me and my insecurities AGAIN

Gah. I haven't been doing much writing lately or any writing at all. I feel so weird and all. Like there's something gnawing inside of me scraping and screaming to get out. Yet again I feel that my other blog is too exposed and I really feel that I should never write anything personal there. Seriously, it's one of my worst nightmares. To have me put my innermost thoughts up on a very public site is just OMG no.

I'm really scared for my CA10s. There's just so much to do and so little time and creativity left! Just a few days ago I was telling Jazzy about how our lecturers wring us dry till not even a drop of creative juice is left for school (not the nonsense stuff we do for the net — that will never run dry). I really want to start on this idea I have for a SasuSaku fanfic and tie up some loose ends for the older ones but with this many CAs I think they'll have to wait till the official holidays are here. I see everyone spilling out their heart contents into their blog but I just can't. I'm sorry. I do trust people but I really need this little reservation to keep myself sane.

Uniqlo promoting NaruSaku? Please no.

Uniqlo launched its limited Naruto T-shirts all which will cost me a bomb plus I think they don't sell them anymore. Nuuuuuuuuu! I watched the clip that is included in the Limited Uniqlo Naruto DVD and it was epic! I loved it till they show Sakura leaning over a badly injured Naruto and crying, obviously after an epic fight with Sasuke. NO! Why is this happening? 

And this art above is official art from Kishimoto-sensei to promote the T-shirts! I don't know what Kishi is planning but if Sasuke does come back and all I hope Sakura still remembers her feelings. 

I hate myself for thinking that if NaruSaku happens I won't mind cuz Naruto is a great guy and he deserves everything great to happen to him. 

I love Naruto. 

I love Sasuke. 

I love EVERYONE! 

But I really REALLY want SasuSaku to be canon. Anyway, the interview did state that Sakura really loves Sasuke. Besides in my opinion, Sasuke won't die but he won't stay and he'll live his life as a wandering ninja. Cool huh? Then Sakura can follow him or sth. But he won't allow it and th- Gah! I don't know what I'm talking about! 

Some of the AWESOME T-shirts:

hatemyselfhatemyselfhatemyself

Tearing me hair out

I've saved over a thousand pics in a day. I'm gonna die sorting my pics cuz I found out that a bunch of them are not in the right folder and I discovered an even better way of sorting them! Gah! 

And the only folder that is very in place is my onionheads folder.

SHAM!

How is it that things will change?

Holidays are coming! YEAH! 3 weeks! But then again CAs are piling up, maybe this time it's slower but it's still THE CAs. Gah. I was thinking of getting a job during the holidays and earning extra money for the preparation to spend like crazy on Taylor merch.

One can never have too many LOVELOVELOVE bracelets. You can wear 10 on one arm and 10 on the other, no probs. I'm really looks forward to that. HEHE. Maybe I can find some lax job that with flexible timings so that I can do my projects and have some "me" time.

I bought Sims 3 Late Night today. Don't know whether it's on impulse or not cuz I kinda planned to purchase it and even have a rough idea what to create.

Oh! I just received a call asking for payment for the TaySwift fanclub T-shirt. Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking about when I ordered it. It's ORANGE. O-R-A-N-G-E! GAH! Anyway, I'll just erm wear some cardigan over that. WHY WOULD ANYONE PICK ORANGE? NO ONE LOOKS GOOD IN ORANGE. Jeez! I chose black but those Swifties have no idea…orange pffft. I like orange BUT not bright, construction workers, Naruto jumpsuit orange!

Okay, dinner's here! All the misery above are mostly self-inflicted. As usual.

I feel SO tired...

I absolutely hate it when my whole body is all floppy and left with little or no energy at all but my mind is totally wide awake. Sheez!
I just fell asleep while lying on the bed to rest for awhile and woke up around 2-3 hours later feeling blur and even MORE TIRED THAN BEFORE. Now, my muscles are aching and my body is STILL very tired. Hmph!
Tomorrow is supposed to be the day for me to actually get some shut eye and relax a little but NOOOO they just have to make us go for an unnecessary talk and make me travel back and forth totalling to 2 hours spent on transport and 2-3 hours in school! %@#&!

Nothing personal

I was blog-hopping and I realised something.
I don't post about my personal life much.
Almost every blog that I come across (friends and ex classmates) tend to revolve around their personal life and what they have done over the weekends and such. All of them so personal and human like a diary of their very own — something so raw that only I can wish to attain.
Talking about my personal life is something hard for me. I find them rather mundane and there's nothing much to talk about…really. But as I read other people's life and daily going-ons their life seems much more interesting and fun compared to that of mine. Maybe because it's told from a different perspective…
I find all these personal things a weakness that people can pick on and know your true self. I'm terrified of people that I'm not close with knowing the me thoroughly in and out. I don't know why but I just do. I hate showing weaknesses of any kind.
Seems like I'm not as fearless as I thought. But sometimes pretending to be makes one kinda fearless even if it's not for long.
I'm hiding and putting on a facade AGAIN hoping that no one else finds out about this fragile little girl in me that I try so hard to protect.

It all comes down to me.