No, nothing's stoping me now.

Before everything I just wanna say, I DO love my parents. They moulded me into the way I am, whether I hate it or not. But sometimes, everything just falls.

Hey. Don't blame me for thinking that other people's parents are better than mine. The not-letting-me-hang-out-with-friends is one thing but promising me something and going back on it is a whole new situation all together. My eyes are swollen and my jaws ache from me trying to stop them from shaking.
I already told them before that I'm going to the concert and all AND they even offered to pay more than half of the price for me.

And then just today I told them that the discount was no more and I need to pay the full $178 this monday and they just bite back at me saying oh no you didn't tell us about that and we are NOT paying. They even accuse that my friend might be cheating me. WTH! And then they went on about how why I'm not buying the cheapest ticket or just don't go. Of course I told them that it's Taylor! I can't NOT go! You can blame me for being a spoilt brat but PLEASE don't go saying Taylor made me rebel and all. NO! SHE CHANGED MY LIFE AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M WATCHING TAYLOR LIVES EVERY MONTH! Then the rant about how they are the ones bringing the money in and I shouldn't spend their money like it's free or what came upon me.

The thing is, I don't ask my parents for extra money or such. Everything that feeds my wants are all paid by me saving my pocket money cent by cent and purchasing them myself. I even told them that I don't need Christmas or birthday presents for that ticket but heck, they told me that they can just don't buy anything. Telling me that I should not buy storybooks and "useless things" and suggesting that they should cut my money so that I've just enough to buy food. Seriously, is it just my parents?

Another thing is threatening to throw away my computer cuz I'm not spending enough time with them in the living room (hello, we spend the whole weekends together all the time?) and blaming the internet for teaching me to stand up against them. I know they expect me to be that girl who just do EVERYTHING her parents say. But I'm growing up aren't I? AND telling me that I can quit poly cuz it's changing me. People change. From child to teen. If they can't accept this, then how am I to become an adult.

Sometimes, I wonder if they're really want me to live with no computer, no storybooks, no music and just do house chores all day as though I'm just a daughter with no likes and wants just some child that they feed and send to school.

What hurts me most is that, it's MY parents that are holding my passion and dreams back. Not anyone else. I would think that parents are supportive are there for you on your worst days but hell no. Not for me.

Too much protection just makes me want freedom more.

Don't break me too much, I might not be able to pick those pieces up again.

Don't worry Jazzy. I'm paying for the tickets and going to see Taylor even if it kills me.

Nothing personal

I was blog-hopping and I realised something.
I don't post about my personal life much.
Almost every blog that I come across (friends and ex classmates) tend to revolve around their personal life and what they have done over the weekends and such. All of them so personal and human like a diary of their very own — something so raw that only I can wish to attain.
Talking about my personal life is something hard for me. I find them rather mundane and there's nothing much to talk about…really. But as I read other people's life and daily going-ons their life seems much more interesting and fun compared to that of mine. Maybe because it's told from a different perspective…
I find all these personal things a weakness that people can pick on and know your true self. I'm terrified of people that I'm not close with knowing the me thoroughly in and out. I don't know why but I just do. I hate showing weaknesses of any kind.
Seems like I'm not as fearless as I thought. But sometimes pretending to be makes one kinda fearless even if it's not for long.
I'm hiding and putting on a facade AGAIN hoping that no one else finds out about this fragile little girl in me that I try so hard to protect.

It all comes down to me.