I'm childish yet mature

I was blog walking among my classmates blogs and I came across a line that made me think. Something along the lines of, maturity is what a person experiences not the number of birthdays passed. I know almost everyone thinks that I've a mind of a rather young and child-like girl and I liked to think that I actually never grew up. But then again there was so much emotional growth and love and hate that maybe, just maybe I'm just trying to shield my heart from further heartache with a facade. I realised that not many kids my age went through the kind of childhood I did. I had no sibling that I could talk to and share my sorrows with, even when my sister came around; she's just a mere baby then but a bundle of joy anyway. She definitely did not take the path that I did. Thankfully. I loved my childhood but at the same time, I hate it. So much drama. I thought secondary school would be riddled with intense drama but it's just mundane like now. I'm now stuck in yet another constricted box that I can't seem to escape from. I cry myself to sleep sometimes, thinking about things that I regret doing or not doing, things that I could have done better. Over-thinking, another fatal weakness of mine.

Maybe next time, I'll face people I've yet to meet with my mature side. And I hope they are strong enough to take it.




I run from reality because I know I'll always be within its grasp.

Me and my insecurities AGAIN

Gah. I haven't been doing much writing lately or any writing at all. I feel so weird and all. Like there's something gnawing inside of me scraping and screaming to get out. Yet again I feel that my other blog is too exposed and I really feel that I should never write anything personal there. Seriously, it's one of my worst nightmares. To have me put my innermost thoughts up on a very public site is just OMG no.

I'm really scared for my CA10s. There's just so much to do and so little time and creativity left! Just a few days ago I was telling Jazzy about how our lecturers wring us dry till not even a drop of creative juice is left for school (not the nonsense stuff we do for the net — that will never run dry). I really want to start on this idea I have for a SasuSaku fanfic and tie up some loose ends for the older ones but with this many CAs I think they'll have to wait till the official holidays are here. I see everyone spilling out their heart contents into their blog but I just can't. I'm sorry. I do trust people but I really need this little reservation to keep myself sane.

Uniqlo promoting NaruSaku? Please no.

Uniqlo launched its limited Naruto T-shirts all which will cost me a bomb plus I think they don't sell them anymore. Nuuuuuuuuu! I watched the clip that is included in the Limited Uniqlo Naruto DVD and it was epic! I loved it till they show Sakura leaning over a badly injured Naruto and crying, obviously after an epic fight with Sasuke. NO! Why is this happening? 

And this art above is official art from Kishimoto-sensei to promote the T-shirts! I don't know what Kishi is planning but if Sasuke does come back and all I hope Sakura still remembers her feelings. 

I hate myself for thinking that if NaruSaku happens I won't mind cuz Naruto is a great guy and he deserves everything great to happen to him. 

I love Naruto. 

I love Sasuke. 

I love EVERYONE! 

But I really REALLY want SasuSaku to be canon. Anyway, the interview did state that Sakura really loves Sasuke. Besides in my opinion, Sasuke won't die but he won't stay and he'll live his life as a wandering ninja. Cool huh? Then Sakura can follow him or sth. But he won't allow it and th- Gah! I don't know what I'm talking about! 

Some of the AWESOME T-shirts:

hatemyselfhatemyselfhatemyself

I WANT MEET & GREET PASSES!!!

OMGOMG! THERE'S A CONTEST TO WIN TAYLOR CONCERT TICKETS, MEET & GREET PASSES AND CD HAMPERS! But you'll have to post a vid, get chosen and perform at 'SCAPE! ANYONE WANTS TO DO THIS WITH ME?!?!?! I NEED A GUITARIST AND A HARMONIST!